


Look at how far you've come

by twinSky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 09:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinSky/pseuds/twinSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If someone had told you at five sweeps you'd die, become a spirit, become a robot and then come back to life as a magic time fairy all before your sixth sweep you would have assumed them crazy! But you did, it all happened and sometimes it's really hard to wrap your head around it.</p><p>A glimpse at Aradia in each of her many forms</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look at how far you've come

**Author's Note:**

> woah this was written for the homestuck secret santa thing and i actually never bothered to psot any of those four fics i wrote!
> 
> i guess i will now?  
> not all at once since the main reason i never posted them was because i couldn't think of titles or summaries, so as i do i will

Your name is Aradia Megido; you are five sweeps old and you enjoy living life to the fullest.

You are a young troll, just over half the age requirement needed to venture of your planet and help the empress with whatever means necessary. You don’t know what occupation you wish to pursue right now but you have several interests to choose from!

Your top three as of right now is flarping, exploring and archeology. Though flarping isn’t an actual job, unless you were to join the Alternian army and that’s kind of like flarping, you are getting way of track right now.

Anyways, as you mentioned you have tons of interests and as such have met tons of friends through them. Your closest ones are your flarp buddies; Nepeta, Terezi, Vriska and Tavros. You flarped once with a sea dweller named Eridan; it was only once though as he prefers sea flarping and you enjoy staying on land. Once or twice you have spoken to Nepeta’s moirail, an odd fellow who spoke to you in a disapproving stern tone. When you mentioned your dislike of it he stated his need for a towel. You don’t get him and have no idea how Nepeta manages to be his moirail.

Your absolute closest friend though is a boy named Sollux Captor. You’ve known him for such a long time and feel as if you could tell him anything. Sometimes you wonder if you feel red for him, you’re young though! You have tons of times to figure things out.

Moving along you must say you absolutely adore exploring new locations. One of your greatest finds is this is this old hat you found in some ruins, you’ve been told you look absolutely adorable in it. Such flattering words which you whole heartedly accept.

It’s fun exploring and digging around for things, your whipkind specibus not only protecting you from enemies but also allowing you to swing from place to place, making exploring that much simpler. It’s truly a great weapon.

All in all, being five sweeps old isn’t that bad, in fact you can’t imagine life being any better!

-

Five and a half sweeps old and you find yourself no longer a living being. Through some long reach around back stabbing nonsense you found yourself killed by someone you cared so deeply about. You can’t say you exactly care.

In fact, you can’t say you care much about anything.

Nowadays time moves forward and you just move along with it. There is no hop to your step as you can once vaguely remember having. There is neither rhyme nor reason to your actions anymore. You do things and they get done, it’s simply how things now work.

You have no interest in anything, you simply exist, and you technically dont even do that. You still speak to your friends, you don’t even know if you can even still consider them that. You do anyways.

They all talk about a change in you, you suppose there is one but it’s not one you yourself can exactly notice. There was an alive you and a dead you and that’s the change. They don’t know you’re dead so you suppose that is a reason.

You doubt they’d believe you though, the dead do not belong in the realm of the living, though here you remain, you don’t know why.

There are whispers you now find yourself hearing more clearly. The voices of the dead speak to you clearly as of late. They speak to you of a game that you must play, one that will bring the destruction of your kind, but must be played. They say this is the only way and you’ve grown to trust them.

The dead know more than the living may ever hope to.

So you request from one of the only people who know of your current state to begin the making of this game. They are wary of this and do not fully understand but do so anyways.

Perhaps out of kindness, perhaps out of guilt. In the end it doesn’t really matter as long as it’s created. After what feels like forever something actually matters.

-

Six sweeps old and you were well into the game. Sometime soon after the game starts you are once again granted a visible form. It is not solid nor living but visible to the eye. It’s a start and your trust in these voices grows a bit stronger.  They don’t speak to you much anymore, but if they were to you’d trust them. You have every reason to.

It’s an odd feeling, being fused with the kernelsprite and a frog head to become a sprite. You became filled with knowledge of things you didn’t know, shouldn’t know and don’t understand. You dont know what to do with this knowledge. It’s meant to be given to the client yet that’s you.

You are the client to be given the knowledge. Yet you are the knowledge to be given. You feel like this is somewhat of a game breaking ideal. Like skipping the intro of a game because you already know how to play. For now you continue to play this game as is, you really don’t care about this to be honest. You have better things to be worried about then the fact you are now some frog sprite thing and technically a game mechanic. This is getting a bit to meta for you. Not that you know what that means.

Things are finally starting to come together for you though. Just as you were promised long before this game started you beginning your slow transformation into a living breathing troll. Perhaps you’ll regain all these feelings that you can’t seem to find.

Feelings that without you are left with a somewhat emptiness, it’s like a hole. You are getting tired of this constant feeling of apathy. A feeling that everything is ‘okay’ whether it is or not. It’s getting a bit old to be quite honest and that you think is one of the first things you’ve felt in awhile. It may be a dull and quite boring but it’s something. You think something akin to joy may be bubbling inside you, you can’t be sure though, you have no idea what it’s like anymore.

You want to feel again, you’d like to think you deserve the right to feel.

-

Six and a half sweeps and you move one more rank up in your ‘alive yet’ meter.

Thanks to Vriska, you aren’t entirely sure how you feel about that one; you now have a physical form, a mechanical robot body built for by Nepeta’s moirail, Equius as you learned awhile back. It’s powered by his blood which you suppose technically makes you a blue blood at the moment. Not that it particularly matters to you.

You were grateful at first, though you aren’t sure how long that gratitude lasted. This body came with feelings that weren’t yours. You wanted to feel but not this. It enraged you so much more then you ever expected. You never thought yourself capable of such rage. Alive or dead it was not something you were; an angry troll that is.

You quickly learned that rage was a common emotion in this form. You always felt volatile, on edge ready to burst at any possible moment. It was odd being filled with such rage; so many things seem odd now that you look back on it.

You went through much of the game in this form. Completed so many tasks and quests, basically made through your entire session like this. You don’t know if it is thanks to this form that you got this far without dying. Again. It’s a virtually indestructible form as any damages can be repaired as long as it is not damaged beyond recognition.  It is powerful as well, incredible strength matched with unshakable rage is something to be feared, and you were. So very much.

It was also in this form you learned of dream bubbles. Wondrous yet horrific places where you can find yourself in a dear memory accompanied with friends or a world where everything went wrong and you are the sole one who remains. You discover it is your responsibility to keep your friends out of these horrific worlds, at least the alpha versions of yourselves. It’s a confusing concept that basically boils down to there are hundreds of timelines that fail and you are the sole one that does not and you must make sure it stays that way.

This leads to you meeting hundreds upon hundreds of versions of you. All dead destroyed versions that took their lives for the better of your own version.  It’s more pressure than you ever thought would be placed on you, stressful if you must admit.

You’ve done things in this form that you can never undo, things that make you happy, things you regret, things that will forever change who you are.

After all this you just want it all to end in a way. There is no end to this though. It is the life you choose way back when; it is the life you have to live.

You wish you could actually live, you miss the warmth a real body possess, this metallic form has just reminded you of the fact you are dead. A cold lifeless soul.

You want to be warm again.

-

You’ve done it.

You can’t even believe this is true.

You’ve waited what seems like forever for this.

And it’s here; your time has finally come.

You, you’re alive.

A living, breathing, warm troll.

You are better than alive! You are a god-tier, the top of your echeladder, granted the full powers of the Maid of Time and the ability to fly with your god-tier wings.

You soar into the sky, twirling as you do, an unabashed smile adorning your face. Laughter bubbles from your throat as overwhelming joy fills you completely.  You hug yourself tightly before throwing your head arms back.

This feels so amazing, much more amazing then you can remember. Most likely because you’ve spent what seems like forever lacking these feelings, this form. A form that can feel actual feelings, a form that can feel touch and warmth and the sudden rush of all these lost things is the greatest thing you have ever felt in your life, both living and dead.

As happy as you may currently be you have much to do before you can continue to enjoy your new life. You have lives to save, people to see and enemies to distract.

You fly off into the distance to face your first problem.

Much has happened since you once again came to life. Your session ended and you guys succeeded, you won your game and created the new universe. Despite this however you were not able to enter it. Through time shenanigans, something you are much too familiar with, the session that occurred because of yours ending successfully fucked things up so badly it ruined yours just as it completed.

It’s confusing to some people but you understand it perfectly, the perks of being a time player.

Anyways the game glitch which they created is coming after your friends and you are not about to let him kill them. You may not have the power to kill him but you indeed have the power to stop him. And that is exactly what you intend to do.

You catch him mid-strike, you can’t do this forever but you will do it as long as possible. You suppose many in your situation would be worried or frightened but you remain calm and happy, perhaps because you are still on your high from being alive.

You are very much alive at this moment and you intend to stay this way.

After this you still have much to do and you are itching to get started. People you’ve never met to explain things to and friends you haven’t seen in forever to walk things through for.

The life of a time player is as busy as it is important; it seems even busier now that you are alive.

Flash-forwarding to the near yet far future you find yourself surrounded by friends, those that remain alive that is. Soon you are to meet those who you created. You must say you are a bit excited.

Though you know very well your time is done, at least for now. You make that clear. You will stay here as they move forward, you much to do yet nothing at the same time. You did your part as a sgrub player and now is a bit of rest before you move again, whether you join them again for battle in the future that is still to be decided. For now you are alive with a dear friend once again at your size. Life is good.

Your name is Aradia Megido; you are nearing your seventh sweep and you must say you enjoy living life to the fullest.

 


End file.
